i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
