I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
