I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
