I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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