They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
