guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
