YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Randomize
