I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
how drunk are you?
Several
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
