im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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