I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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