i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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