We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
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My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
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I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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