There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
