I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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