She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
