just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
