You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
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My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
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Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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