I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
