now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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