i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
