sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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