Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
