He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
