Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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