all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
