I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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