I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
