Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
It's Friday. Sex?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
