that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
