i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
