It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
