let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
