You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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