I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
