YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
