TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
