Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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