Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
