i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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