Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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