week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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