another moral hangover. fuck.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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