woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
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No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
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Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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