discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
