Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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