I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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