Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
