i was born a porn star she said
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
there was a trapeze. enough said
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
