my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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