btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
