Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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