I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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