We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
