conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
