Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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