if only i could text you this smell
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
