We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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