Whatcha textin bout Willis?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize