I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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