Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize